Sometimes, when I look back at the events leading up to the war, I wonder if by some other Choice – could I have changed the course of events? Of course that train of thought leads towards regret, and I make it a point to try and live without regrets as often as possible. Again, that can also lead to a lack of conscience, which I also try and avoid. I find a little, very quiet, voice inside my head telling me when something might be a bad idea very reassuring at times. But I digress.
In those last few days before the invasion, when we were wandering the woods, trying to find our way to Karvesh, worry became my constant companion. Sometimes that was more consistent than those persons accompanying me, but at times much less helpful. Choosing to put that aside, and do my best was all the tools I had available to me.
Of course, during our capture and subsequent escape, those tools again became useless. At least I wasn’t in a small stone box. I would have died before that happened again!
Journal of Hoyle Dardanel,The 5th of Julra,
In the year 89 IR (Imperial Rule)
This is a topic that I find very... complicated, at least in my life. As I am sure you might find it difficult to wrap around yours. It's the thought that "What if...?" thought that rattles around in your brain after something of significance happens, and your brain spends the next while figuring out if the action you took, or the words you said were the best possible response or outcome.
You know that situation where someone made a joke at your expense maybe, and your brain comes up with the perfect comeback that would crush the joke and turn it around on the person... 4 hours later... "I should have said..." And you smack yourself for not coming up with the comeback sooner.
But that "What if...?" question that haunts us all, it's THAT question that can lead to regrets. Accompanied by bad or questionable Choices, it's the dynamic duo that is guaranteed to lead down that semi-destructive path. It puts us in the trap of living in the past, where maybe a mistake we made can trap us for days, weeks, months or even years. It causes us to relive the moment over and over, hoping that we make a better Choice the next time. Sometimes, this even translates into the present, causing us subconsciously to continue to make the same mistake over and over.
So how do we combat asking that futile question? It's only human nature.
I have heard many people say that you need to live in the present, The quote I like the best recently (okay, not so recently) appeared in Kungfu Panda:
Yesterday is history,Many others indicate that gratitude is the way to let go of all the things that are holding us back. If we are grateful for all those things in our life right now (i.e. in the present), it will focus us on the positive things and the negative will slip away.
Tomorrow a mystery,
Today is a gift,
That's why it's called the present.
I happen to agree with both of those sentiments.
However, practicing them is another matter.
How do we defy our fundamental human nature? How do we not ask the ultimate "What if...?" questions? How do we not wonder how our lives would have went had we Chosen X instead of Y, A instead of Q?
It's hard. At least for myself. I can't speak for all of you, of course. I can only speak for me. I would like to say that I do not have regrets, but I would be lying. I will say that I try to live now by making Choices that lead me down the path to as few regrets as possible. Just to reiterate, when I say Choices, I don't mean what I have for breakfast, or which way to drive to work, I mean life altering Choices with the big 'C'. Generally, and thankfully, not a lot of those Choices come around too often. They are certainly not a daily occurrence, at least not in my life. Usually they are pretty obvious, but sometimes they are not.
As with everyone else in the world today, I make my way from one day to the next, making decisions, making Choices, and for the most part hoping they are correct, knowing that there is the possibility that I will never know if the other Choice was better.
All we can do is the best that we can.
Once again, Thank you. If you have any thoughts on the matter, feel free to leave a comment. If this passage meant something else to you as you read it in Stones Unbound, I would love to hear your thoughts.
Richard C. Innes
